Free Will or Not? That is My Question

Romans 8:28b-30 NLT "those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.  For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.  And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory."

Infinite, all-knowing Lord, 
There are parts of the rest of Romans 8 and 9 that are hard for me to understand.  Obviously the parts that are positive for me now that I am a true believer are wonderful and I thank You for Your grace and mercy.  However; the parts that tell of how You choose some for damnation (Pharaoh, and Esau) and some for salvation butts heads with John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him will have everlasting life.", and other passages where You tell me that because I am made in Your image, I have the free will to chose You or not.

I know that this book was written to the Gentile believers in Rome. 
Romans 1:6-7 NLT "And you are included among those Gentiles who have been called to belong to Jesus Christ.  I am writing to all of you in Rome who are loved by God and are called to be his own holy people. May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace."  Since I am a Gentile, this is exciting that Your salvation is not for Jews only.

My question is, did I have free will or not?  Is Your blood sufficient for all and only efficient for others?  If so; it would seem that not only should I be eternally grateful, but also smug to be a "chosen one".  If only the chosen will come to You, why do You give us the Great Commission?

Dearest Lord, I know You do not mind me asking these questions for You know I have a finite mind and I am glad for that.  I also know that ALL of Your Word is true and I must never just take out the parts I like and ignore the parts I do not like or understand.  Help me, Holy Spirit, my comforter and teacher, to understand.